The Great Chili Confrontation, Part #3

In the last post I made reference to a peace offering to H. Allen Smith by Wick Fowler, namely the tome titled, "With or Without Beans", by Joe E. Cooper. The book is subtitled, "An Informal Biography of Chili" and was considered to be The Scripture by the Chili Appreciation Society International of Dallas, and Mr. Cooper was considered to be the . In Texas, chili is not just a consumable, but a religion. Texans are greed for three things, chili, barbeque and money, but not necessarily in any order.


If anyone tells you that their chili is authentic Texas chili, they are probably from Illinois or some other God forsaken place like that. Texans themselves are by no means agreed on chili. They quibble and quarrel among themselves worse than the Texas Holly rollers and the Texas Baptists. The Texas chili cult is a religion unto its self and the Chili Appreciation Society International is the Orthodox. Their motto, taken from Coopers book is: "The aroma of good chili should generate rapture akin to a lover's kiss."

In Joe E. Cooper's book there are more ways to brew chili than there are sexual perversions known to modern civilized man. (More will be said about this at another time.) This is his way with chili:

• 3 lbs. lean beef ( he doesn't say, but I guess, chopped or coarse ground)

• 1/4 cup olive oil

• 1 qt. water

• 2 bay leaves (optional)

• 8 dry chile pods, or 6 tablespoons chili powder

• 2 tsp. salt

• 10 cloves garlic, finely chopped

• 1 tsp. ground comino

• 1 tsp. oregano

• 1 tsp. red pepper

• 1/2 tsp black pepper

• 1 Tbs. sugar

• 3 Tbs. paprika

• 3 Tbs. flour

• 6 Tbs. cornmeal

1. When olive oil is hot, in a 6 quart pot, add meat and sear over high heat; stir constantly until gray - NOT BROWN. It will then have the consistence of whole-grain hominy. Add 1 qt. water and cook, covered, at a bubbling simmer one and one-half to two hours.

2. Add all ingredients except thickening. Cook 30 minutes longer at the same bubbling simmer. Further cooking will damage some of the spice flavors. Now add thickening, previously mixed in cold water. Cook five minutes to determine if more water is necessary (likely) for your desired consistency. Stir t prevent sticking after thickening is added. Some prefer all flowr, others all cornmeal and still others use cracker meal - about as good and more convenient. Suit your taste.

3. If you like bay flavor (it is good) 2 leaves for 15 to 20 minutes at start. They'll be easier to find and remove before spices are added. A first-timer might start with less and taste his ........

This receipt rambles on for a few more paragraphs and Smith responds with this outburst.

"Oh, hell! I can't go on with this farce any longer! Throughout this chili controversy I have been a sportsman, fair, honorable. I've functioned with a keen sense of justice and propriety. I have not lost my temper. I have not indulged in personalities. But these Texans are guilty of foolishness worse confounded. I'm sorry to have to say so, but that Cooper recipe demonstrates just how vulnerable, and how idiotic, religious leaders can be.

You want good chili, do it my way!"

And so the gauntlet was flung down and set in motion one of the most famous shoot outs in the annals of the wild west, the very first chili cook-off.

Tip: A few words about cumin or comino. For the best flavor, and this is really worth it, buy only the whole seeds and roast them yourself. Dump a couple of tablespoons into a dry skillet and heat over medium high heat until there is the first hint of smoke rising from them. This won't take long and the aroma of the roasted seeds is wonderful. Now grind the seeds in a coffee grinder, which is now the spice grinder, or use a pestle and mortar and grind into a coarse powder. The flavor is far and away way better than the powder in the jar.